It is 5am. Another sleepless night, one of many in the 12 years since I began my campaign for justice. Last week brought more revelations, documents the writers thought would never see the light of day. One in particular is the most vile piece of defamation so far [I cannot call it 'Chinese Whispers' because this man will no doubt accuse me of making 'racist remarks' - the sort of vicious kick-back common among AWP seniors who are in denial]. So vile it is that I am seeking police & legal advice.
Rather than reiterate, it is time for analysis. Writing this blog keeps me sane. For readers who have gone through this sort of experience, been blocked from speaking out and ignored by their tormenters, I recommend it. Balm to the soul, along with the dawn chorus, Stoic philosophy and meeting folk who DO value you, not attack at every opportunity.
So, lets go from the start. It's a game of 'if'. Brick by brick, as Marcus Aurelius would say. Except, he meant to build up one's reputation and career, not have it smashed down.
Had Dr Howells not panicked and come to mediation as I asked, instead of listening to Mr Stancliffe et al, this would not have gone on 12 years. Of course, it goes without saying, had she not abused me in the first place and communicated as a senior should communicate with an autistic employee.. But that is dirty water long gone down the sewer.
But then we have Mrs Stapleton, my so-called mentor and leader, who not only 'sent me to Coventry' [curiously enough, it is my home town she was thus returning me to] but proceeded to reveal to the Board twisted versions of my academic presentations. To ingratiate herself? A 'genuine' attempt to 'reveal' wrongdoing - or playing 'good girl' to get a goody bag? I have no way of telling. All I know is she too refused mediation - an opportunity lost. Thus, she deprived me of the chance of a late life PhD, which I had longed for since I was a child.
Then we have Mrs Barnes, PA to Dr Howells. So loyal. Too loyal. She might have been decent at base, as her fabrications were so contradictory - the mark of an amateur. Another point missed by Mr Stancliffe.
Now, Ms Booth. This one is a tough nut. Career minded. Saw an opportunity and took it - at my expense. Had Mr S been less biased, he might have wondered about her remarks on my academic ability and the counter evidence of the results for my MSc. So too, he would have realized someone with a high pass must have spent time studying, not 'deliberately criticising the Trust' at every opportunity and bullying staff?? I rest my case.
And Dr Jerrom. What did he call me? 'Persistent, disrespectful and rude' and 'making racist remarks' and 'refusing to accept management' ... Let's take them one by one.
Now we come to Mr Stancliffe, senior HR officer and 'investigator'. Good job he did not work for the police or everyone would be in gaol. Now, wouldn't you think, if an employee made a complaint about a manager and that manager immediately set up a 'performance management', it might ring alarm bells? Not if you are ambitious with an eye on the Board. And as a so-called independent person, you might not suggest to that same manager she had been bullied? And how, weeks after giving a glowing testimonial [too glowing - guilt perhaps about abusing me?] this manager suddenly makes a raft of complaints about that person, that never came up previously? And why, rather than being keen to settle fairly, he commissions a bully-boy legal firm to ensure the employee never gets to Tribunal? Small wonder - oh illuminatus! - when he knows he has committed defamation and exposed himself..
And how another manager, Ms Booth, suddenly enters the field, likewise criticising the employee [whom she has never met] and implying that employee only passed academic assignments because of input from Dr Howells? Worse, she begins abusing her knowledge of psychology, by implying to Mr S the employee is psychotic and dangerous? Do you not smell rats in the cellar..
And then Mr Tulley, former CE. Up he comes in righteous indignation to my MP (Mr Rees-Mogg, a gentleman of the old school but sadly a bit naive). He informs Mr R-M of the hearsay, but it doesn't say hearsay in his letters, it is given out as truth. Tulley's remarks are vile and defamatory, repeating gossip without a shred of evidence. Tulley, like Stancliffe, doesn't bother to enquire of decent employees, too frightened by this mess to speak out. Neither does he order an independent enquiry by ACAS but goes off to Qatar to earn a fortune, leaving a mess for the Board and my life in ruins.
Now we are 12 years down the line. Ms Mills is CE. New broom, I hope. Willing to listen, put things right? Far from it. Reads Tulley letter. CE's and Psychologist tell the truth don't they? Board member Mr Stancliffe has conducted a 'professional investigation' has he not? [so they told my hapless, kind but naive MP]. Hmm. Surely decent, upstanding, senior HR and psychologists would not lie, to cover up, hide or alter documents? No, it is easier to believe the employee is a liar, a cheat, a bully, making criminal threats to staff. No need to look at the employee's evidence, nor give her a half hour of her precious time. Just hope like Mr Stancliffe that it never reaches court..
Now to PALS, HPC, BPS, ACAS and the rest. Who will believe a single, autistic employee, against two CE's, 2 senior HR Managers, 3 Psychologists, a Counsellor/Mentor. Let's sing 'old uncle Tom Cobley and all and all..' To put it another way, of what do they remind you? I'll give you a clue. Baa.
So why is she [they refer to me as she] persistent, dogged, determined? Why would she deliberately ruin a career that spanned nearly a decade, by 'refusing to attend training and supervision',' etc etc [see MY STORY]. Does that make sense? That is where they began to go wrong, you see. HR knew nothing about links between toxic environments, stress and bullying [they should read my new book, as well as the Tim Field book I sent Mr Mitchell 12 years ago..]. They know nothing about autism under stress, stress caused by HR and seniors blunders, as described above. They don't know and don't care, so long as no one criticises the Trust and everyone is nice, and brushes the dirt caefully under the carpet, ignoring the blood-strewn crying thing that is me outside the gates..
And rather than perceiving these truths and being ashamed of his behaviour, Mr Mitchell chips in, calling me arrogant for criticising him. Doh. So they give me 'an administrative settlement', lie in Court, hide documents, trip and beat me up, tell me if I tell anyone I will be taken for defamation and bankrupted.. This is what AWP call values-driven work, decency and justice.
Wish I had chosen another career. Anything but working for a Trust like AWP. My advice for a career with AWP? Forget it. Become a security guard, a gardener, a cleaner [yes, I did that too - nothing is beneath me #] - anything but be beaten up for telling the truth and trying to be a decent person and, most of all, striving for justice.
Yet, good must come of this and that might be possible. Though AWP are recalcitrant, it was they who allowed this gross breach of Article 8 of the Human Rights Act - namely, the right of the injured party to 'tell their story' in person to a Judge. This must be put right and this is my aim. Go to 'campaign' - html.inspirationworks4u.co.uk/campaign.html
# I was cleaning his office toilet in Coventry Cathedral when Bishop Cuthbert Bardsley popped his head round the door and asked if I minded if he used the facilities. Thereafter, he would chat to me quite often about philosophy. I was in the Vedanta Centre, Bourne End, and asked a monk if I could pick some flowers for my room as I had no garden. Swami came by and saw I was sad about not having a garden. I was not only invited into the service but said I could visit their garden any day. And they did not turn a hair when I removed my shoes to reveal my decrepit snowman socks [it being near Christmas]. There is something here about acceptance....
Marianne's guides to mental illness received professional acclaim. Two new works are now on sale, 'Finding Time' & 'Beating the Bully.'